What can we learn from the things people do not say?
In a recent Leadership Story Talks debrief, hosts Jerome Deroy and Julienne Ryan reflected on their conversation with Logan Yonavjak, whose work focuses on measuring leadership readiness. Coming from the investment world, Logan began by assessing startup leaders and has since broadened her work across industries, looking at how people handle high-pressure environments, promotions, and moments of increased responsibility.
One of the ideas that stayed with Jerome and Julienne was Logan’s focus on what is not being said. In leadership assessment, interviews, and storytelling, we often pay close attention to the words people choose. But pauses, omissions, hesitations, body language, and shifts in energy can reveal just as much.
Sometimes what is missing from the conversation is where the real story begins.
Listening for the Pause
Julienne connected Logan’s work to her own past experience in HR and recruiting. When conducting reference checks or interviews, she learned to listen not only to what people said, but to the pauses, changes in rhythm, and subjects they seemed to avoid.
A reference might speak fluently about one aspect of a candidate’s work, then slow down or shift tone when another subject came up. An interviewee might share certain achievements confidently while unconsciously steering away from areas that felt less secure. These moments may not always indicate something negative, but they are signals worth noticing.
The pause invites curiosity.
It may point to a blind spot. It may reveal discomfort, caution, uncertainty, or a story the person has trained themselves not to tell. Sometimes people have become so practiced in presenting what they believe is important that they do not realize what they are leaving out.
That is why measuring what is not said can be so revealing. It offers a mirror, not necessarily to expose someone, but to help them see themselves more fully.
The Blind Spots We Do Not Know We Have
Jerome noted that one of the most interesting aspects of Logan’s approach is that it can be used developmentally. The goal is not to catch people out. It is to help them identify blind spots.
After an interview or transcript is analyzed, the question becomes: what did you not say? Often, people are unaware of the omission. The pattern may be ingrained. They may avoid certain topics because they do not want to appear weak, uncertain, too ambitious, too emotional, too forceful, or not forceful enough. They may have learned over time that some parts of themselves are safer to leave out.
Once those patterns become visible, they can be explored. Why was that subject difficult to name? What assumption shaped the omission? What story about yourself or your leadership were you trying to protect?
That kind of awareness matters because leadership is not only about what we communicate intentionally. It is also shaped by what we habitually withhold.
Choosing What Not to Say
There is an important difference between unconsciously avoiding something and consciously choosing not to say it.
Jerome reflected that once people have done the work of understanding themselves more clearly, silence becomes a tool rather than a blind spot. A speaker may choose to pause. They may choose to hold back a detail, move quickly through a stretch of time, or let a gesture communicate what words do not need to explain.
In storytelling, these choices can be powerful. An audience does not need every fact. In fact, oversharing can weaken a story. When a storyteller leaves room for the listener to participate, the audience leans in. They begin to wonder why there was a pause, what happened in the gap, or what meaning sits beneath the silence.
That curiosity creates engagement.
A well-placed pause can be as important as a well-chosen sentence. A gesture can replace a paragraph. A breath can signal that something matters. When the storyteller knows why they are making that choice, the silence becomes part of the shape of the story.
Less Is More
Julienne brought the conversation back to curation. Storytelling is not the same as simply sharing everything that happened. It requires choices. What belongs in the story? What should be left out? What needs to stay on the boat, and what needs to be tossed overboard?
We live in a culture of oversharing, where more information can sometimes be mistaken for more meaning. But a powerful story is not created by including every detail. It is created by selecting the details that help the audience understand what changed, what mattered, and why the experience still lives in the storyteller.
This is where less really can be more. Once too much has been said, it can be difficult for the audience to find the thread. But when the storyteller is selective, listeners have space to participate. They fill in some of the blanks themselves, and that act of participation makes the story more memorable.
Good storytelling is not only about speaking. It is about knowing when not to speak.
The Body Tells a Story Too
The debrief also explored the way communication extends beyond words. What we do not say may be visible in our bodies before we ever become aware of it ourselves.
A shift in breathing. A change in facial expression. A gesture that appears and disappears. A sudden stillness. A faster pace. A voice that tightens. A pause that lands differently than the others.
These signals matter because audiences read them. Colleagues read them. Interviewers read them. Teams read them. Even when people are not consciously analyzing body language, they are often responding to it.
That does not mean every gesture needs to be controlled or performed. The point is not to become artificial. The point is to become aware. When we understand how our breath, pauses, and physical presence shape communication, we can use them with more intention.
For presenters, this is especially important. Many people forget to breathe when they are nervous. They rush, tighten, or try to fill every silence. But breath is one of the simplest ways to return to presence. It gives the speaker a moment to choose, and it gives the audience a moment to absorb.
From Habit to Intention
One of the central lessons of the episode was the movement from habit to intention.
When we are unaware of what we are not saying, our omissions may be driven by fear, conditioning, or blind spots. We may avoid subjects without knowing why. We may present a version of ourselves that feels safe but incomplete.
But when we become aware of those patterns, we gain choice. We can decide whether something belongs in the story or not. We can pause because the moment needs space, not because we are afraid. We can leave something unsaid because it strengthens the story, not because we are hiding from it.
That distinction changes the quality of communication. It allows leaders and storytellers to be more deliberate, more honest, and more effective.
The goal is not to say everything. The goal is to understand what we are saying, what we are not saying, and why.
The Invitation
This debrief offers a useful challenge for anyone who leads, presents, interviews, or tells stories: pay attention to the gaps.
What do you habitually avoid saying? Where do you rush? Where do you pause without meaning to? What subjects do you over-explain, and what subjects do you leave out entirely? What does your body communicate before your words catch up?
And then, once you notice those patterns, ask a second question: what do you want to choose?
Because silence can hide a blind spot, but it can also create meaning. A pause can reveal discomfort, but it can also invite attention. What is not said can weaken trust when it is unconscious, but strengthen a story when it is chosen with care.
Leadership communication is not only about finding the right words. It is also about understanding the power of the space around them.
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