What Are You Hiding? Leadership, Identity, and the Courage to Drop the Cover

What does it mean to lead authentically when you’ve spent a lifetime mastering how to hide?

In this episode of Leadership Story Talks, Jerome Deroy and Julienne Ryan sit down with Kenny Leahman—a former CIA officer turned master coach—whose life has been defined by “covers.” Not just the professional kind required in intelligence work, but deeply personal ones as well.

Kenny’s story isn’t just about secrecy. It’s about what happens when the cost of hiding becomes greater than the risk of being seen.

Living Two Lives

For 24 years in the CIA, Kenny operated under cover as part of his role. That was expected—necessary, even. But at the same time, he was also living another kind of cover: as a gay man in a traditional marriage and a devout Mormon community.

One cover was mandated. The other was chosen.

Over time, the distinction between those two began to matter.

“I knew that I was lying,” Kenny reflects. And that realization didn’t stay contained. It expanded—into his relationships, his identity, and ultimately his sense of self.

A Wake-Up Call in Afghanistan

Kenny points to his time in Afghanistan as a defining leadership moment. Initially deployed for 90 days, he chose to stay—not once, but twice—ultimately serving two years in a war zone.

There, leadership wasn’t theoretical. It was immediate, high-stakes, and deeply human.

Working alongside military personnel, Afghan partners, and global teams, he learned a critical lesson: focus is not optional when lives are on the line.

“As the leader, I could not be scattered… it literally was life and death.”

But the experience also sharpened something else: awareness.

Not just awareness of mission—but of how he showed up. What he signaled. Whether others could trust that he was fully aligned with the work.

The Cost of Inauthenticity

For years, Kenny managed both his professional and personal identities with precision. But eventually, the internal tension became impossible to ignore.

The turning point came with a simple but confronting question:

“How can you do this to your wife?”

That question shifted everything.

Kenny realized his silence wasn’t just affecting him—it was impacting the people closest to him. What had once felt like protection now felt like betrayal.

And so, he made a decision: to drop the cover.

A Defining Moment of Leadership

When Kenny came out to a senior leader in the CIA, he expected rejection.

Instead, he got something else entirely.

After hearing Kenny’s truth, the leader stood up, embraced him, and said:

“With what you have done thus far… I’m utterly amazed. Now I want you to step forward and perform in your fullest.”

That moment wasn’t just personal. It was a profound example of leadership in action.

Leadership that sees.
Leadership that affirms.
Leadership that calls others forward.

Why “Dropping Cover” Matters for Leaders

Today, Kenny’s work centers on helping others recognize the “covers” they live behind—and decide when it’s time to drop them.

Because not all covers look dramatic.

Some look like:

• Imposter syndrome
• Fear of failure
• The pressure to appear “perfect”
• The quiet belief: “When will they find out I don’t belong here?”

These are the hidden narratives that shape leadership from the inside out.

And until they’re addressed, they limit how we lead.

The Work of Self-Awareness

At the core of Kenny’s philosophy is one essential leadership skill: self-awareness.

Without it, he warns, leaders can unintentionally cause harm.

With it, they gain the clarity to align who they are with how they lead.

In his coaching, Kenny often asks three deceptively simple questions:

• Who am I?
• Who do I want and need to be?
• How do I get there?

These aren’t questions you answer quickly. They’re questions you live into.

The Ripple Effect of Courage

As Julienne Ryan reflects in the conversation, stories like Kenny’s create a ripple effect. We may never fully see the impact—but it spreads.

Because when one person chooses authenticity, it gives others permission to do the same.

And that’s where real leadership begins.

Final Thought

You don’t need to have lived a life in intelligence to recognize this truth:

We all have covers.

The question is not whether they exist.
The question is whether they’re still serving us.

Or holding us back.

Listen to the full episode of Leadership Story Talks HERE to explore Kenny Leahman’s story and reflect on your own.

Check out the Listening Lab here ~ LISTENING LAB