The Stories That Shape Us: Why Small Moments Matter More Than You Think

What kind of story shapes a leader? Is it a life-altering event? A major turning point? A dramatic, defining moment? Or could it be something much smaller—something that, at the time, didn’t seem significant at all?

In this week’s Leadership Story Talks debrief, hosts Jerome Deroy and Julienne Ryan reflect on their latest live storytelling event and uncover a powerful insight:

The stories that shape us aren’t always the ones we expect.

Not All Defining Moments Look “Defining”

During the live event, three storytellers—Gina Leow, Derek McCracken, and Dr. LaNysha Adams—shared deeply personal stories under a simple prompt: stories that shaped us.

What emerged was a striking contrast.

• Gina shared a childhood ballet recital gone wrong—a moment that led her to step away from something she loved.
• Derek told a humorous story about wearing an Easter Bunny costume during a zoo internship.
• LaNysha brought listeners into a life-and-death experience—waking up from a coma.

On the surface, only one of these might seem “transformational.”

But that’s exactly the point.

As Jerome noted, the moments that shape us don’t always look significant in real time. A small experience—like a teacher’s reaction, a part-time job, or a fleeting interaction—can echo across decades and influence how we lead, connect, and show up in the world.

The Power of Reframing

One of the most powerful through-lines in the conversation was reframing.

Gina’s story wasn’t just about a childhood mistake—it became a lesson in leadership. A single moment of harsh feedback shaped how she now supports and guides others.

Derek’s story reminded us that no experience is wasted. Even the most unexpected roles can become foundational, teaching us skills we carry forward in ways we never anticipated.

And LaNysha’s story highlighted something deeper: how we interpret and act on moments of crisis can redefine who we become.

As Julienne reflected, each storyteller didn’t just recount what happened—they showed how they chose to reinterpret those experiences and apply them in their lives.

It’s Not About the “Big Story”

One of the biggest misconceptions about storytelling—especially in leadership—is that we need to find the story. The defining moment. The turning point.

But as this conversation revealed, that’s not how it works.

You don’t have one story that defines you.
You have many.

And which one matters depends on:

• the context
• the audience
• the message you want to share

As Jerome pointed out, the story you tell today might not be the one you would have told ten years ago—or even yesterday.

Stories evolve because we evolve.

Beyond the Bio: Why Stories Matter

There’s another reason storytelling resonates so deeply—especially in leadership.

A résumé tells people what you’ve done.
A story shows them who you are.

Stories reveal:

• what drives you
• what you value
• how you respond to challenge
• how you lead

And that connection creates something far more powerful than information—it creates trust.

As Jerome shared, when people understand your story, they’re far more likely to follow you, collaborate with you, or engage with your work in meaningful ways.

The Role of Courage and Vulnerability

Of course, none of this happens without a willingness to step forward.

Storytelling requires:

• courage to share
• vulnerability to be seen
• trust in the process

As Julienne emphasized, storytellers don’t show up without nerves or uncertainty. They choose to step into it anyway—and in doing so, create space for others to do the same.

That’s where the real transformation happens.

From Storytelling to Listening

One of the most important insights from this debrief is that storytelling doesn’t begin with speaking.

It begins with listening.

Listening to:

• your own experiences
• the moments that stay with you
• the stories you keep returning to

And listening to others—creating a space where stories can emerge naturally, without force.

This idea has led to the creation of Narativ’s upcoming Listening Lab—a space designed not just to improve storytelling skills, but to deepen how we listen, reflect, and communicate together.

Because before we can tell better stories, we need to hear them—fully.

A Simple Invitation

As the episode closes, Julienne offers a powerful call to action:

What if you already have 20 stories in your head—moments you revisit again and again?

What if you chose just one?

What if you explored it from a new angle?

That’s where this work begins.

Not with perfection.
Not with performance.
But with curiosity.

Because the story that shapes you most might already be there—waiting to be seen in a new way.

LISTEN to all our storytellers on Leadership Story Talks ~ HERE

Check out the Listening Lab here ~ LISTENING LAB