“When we gain context, it does give us permission to just appreciate the other person, even if we still don’t agree with them.”
— Julienne B. Ryan
Overview
What happens when curiosity becomes less about getting answers and more about truly seeing another person?
In this debrief of our conversation with Martin Koehler, Jerome Deroy and Julienne B. Ryan explore how genuine curiosity, full attention, and appreciation can create the conditions for people to show up differently. They discuss the difference between questions that open a conversation and questions that shut one down, why context can challenge our assumptions, and the value of looking for good intentions—even when someone’s words initially rub us the wrong way.
You’ll Hear
– Why listening, attention, and appreciation can feel like a rare gift
– How curiosity can reveal what’s really underneath someone’s stated challenge
– The connection between storytelling and asking better, more open-ended questions
– Why questions like “When did this happen?” and “Where did you learn that?” can lead somewhere assumptions cannot
– How gaining context can increase patience and understanding, even when we disagree
– Why looking for the good intention behind someone’s words can open up dialogue instead of shutting it down
– How being genuinely heard and acknowledged can help people appreciate something in themselves they may not have recognized before
Resources
Check out episode 201 with Martin Koehler HERE
Experience The Listening Lab
Looking for greater clarity around your own story and purpose?
The Listening Lab is a community for leaders, coaches, and professionals who want to think more clearly, communicate more authentically, and discover the stories that move people. Start with a free 30-day trial:
https://listeninglabfreespot.carrd.co
Narativ’s online course in partnership with New Mexico State University Global Campus: Lead With Your Story (self-paced, on-demand course)
Podcast listeners get 25% off – Use code NARATIV → Register Here
Learn more about how to leverage Narativ’s storytelling method for your pitch and sales team: Download our free e-book, or you’re welcome to schedule a free 15-minute call with Jerome.

